Jump man

On day I was robbing a bank (as usual ) . But this time was different let me tell you how.

   I walk into the bank to cash out some money from another persons account. But I forgot their signature . The lady told me that she was going to call the cops . I said "oh my gursh "
   I started to run . Then  I to jump over all the gates . I thought about it for a minute.  The cops are like 3 minutes away from here should I play my favorite song or return to my boss .   Nahhh I will play my song while playing my favorite song that was made for me .
   While I was jumping the gates my favorite part came on " jump man jump man jump man them boys up to something  . They just spent like 2 or 3 they signed the country . "
    I knew I had to keep on going . But then " Chicken wings and Fry's we don't go on dates " my other favorite part but I still kept on going .
Around 5 minutes later I was finally at my bosses house and told him the whole story he told me that he was not mad at me at all and that it happens to everyone. I also told him the cops ... I lost them and that they had no idea where I was.

The diary of an old man

Today i needed help to get across the street crack in the sidewalk. I came across a little boy and i asked him "Um young boy , may you me cross the sidewalk " But the little boy looked at me and said " You need help to get cross the crack in the sidewalk my mom told me not to talk to strangers and eeewww " Then he kicked me and walked away . Then I came across a little girl he she looks like she was in high school but she was wearing all black and every thing even her makeup was all black . But i asked her " UM may you help me get across this crack " But she ignored me and played some type of music with some not so nice words in it . Then a lady came by in a cute car and then she asked me in a sweet voice " Do you need help to get over the crack. Just tell me where do you need to go i will just drive you there." On the way there I told her about my day and she said " Wow your day must have been bad " 

              REMEMBER TO RESPECT THE ELDERLY !!!

Drake thought

It was 1979 there was no cell phones only house phones . I could not text any one . I became famous from a song called " used to " . It goes like this " You used to call me on my house phone late night when you need to call " Then Drake came to me and said that I stool his song . But I told him his song took place in the future . Then he told me that i need to meet him at court at 7:45 . Then i told Drake      " OKTYHIONCGUIBJRTU 7489058N0CV 8J 829348YN  " and i also told him that i wont be meeting him at court .